My husband sent me an email on the day of the California primary which I'm sharing below. We'd been debating for weeks about how we'd cast our votes. In the past, we'd always voted for the same candidate. And that candidate had always been fairly left of center, as the saying goes. We didn't even vote for Gavin Newsom, the San Francisco mayor who openly challenged California state law to legalize same sex marriage for one now famous long weekend. No sir, he wasn't liberal enough for us. We voted for Green Party candidate Matt Gonzalez, Ralph Nadar's current running mate. Yes indeed. That's how we roll.
But this time, I thought, maybe we'll part ways. Black guy, white lady. You can see how I considered we might finally veer away from each other (politically) in the course of this election. Alas, our bond is deep. He sent me this note while I was at work, having cast my ballot early that morning after encouraging him to consider the white lady candidate. I'd made one last plea, more in jest than with any sense of hope that we might both vote for Clinton.
(Bear with the first part; he's a programmer. Read on through, it's really funny. I think so anyway.)
"What do I do? Oh my word.
I have long had a sure fire methodology, nay algorithm, for voting for people in elections:
foreach candidate c;
first, if ( c is women )
and ( c is hot )
or ( c was once hot )
or ( c is liberal )
next, if ( c is black )
and (c is not Republican)
// I hate black republicans, effin blupublicans.
and ( c is not too black or religious )
next, if ( c is brown ) pick();
next, if ( c is liberal ) pick();
next, if ( c has a cool sounding name ) pick(); end;
This has been simple and effective for 20 years of voting. I have never deviated from it.
I like to redress historical hypocritical discrimination with reverse discrimination, I just adore reverse discrimination.
Not that I don’t like white guys, I do, many of my good friends are white guys, seriously.
So, this has got to be an election made for me.
It’s Super Tuesday. I’m a Californian.My vote matters.
Clinton? Obama? Easy. Well, months ago it was.
Once Hot. True.
Currently hot. True.
What happened to me?
I know not what kind of Purple Lipped Mojo Obama’s slinging?
But, somehow, he slung it on me,
And I’m starting to believe.
Take me home to, Oprah, I mean Jesus, I mean Oprah.
You can’t hide from the truth.
So I started to believe.
New world, Black Man, Multi-racial, Well educated, Cool. Mulatto Yo.
Obama and me could be pals. Maybe even an older brother he could be for me.
The older brother that I never had.
Someone to buy me beer, or help me with high school debate tactics. Keep me focused on my studies. Give me the brotherly guidance and confidence I’ve always lacked.
Where were you Obama,
I needed you!
Do I really like Hillary? Or do I just not want to admit to myself that I love Obama, for fear that my love will not be reciprocated.
Am I just afraid to hope, to dream, that someone like me could be pres-o-dent? Has our time come? Is post-racial America here today?
No. Not Yet.
Not yet not because there is something wrong with Obama, or America, or me, but all of us.
Not yet, for the same reasons that I find Obama appealing. The same reasons America,
Or some of America does.
That he is in the mold of MLK.
Great Orator, Inpirational,
Smart yet accessible.
When we are ready to accept some boring black guy,
then we are in like Flynn.
But Hillary is boring.
We know it. She knows it.
She’s not sexy to most,
And yet, we are ready to accept her. That’s progress!
Ok. That’s all bullshit.
Me trying to get on NPR.
Who do I want running things?
A white woman. That’s right, dammit!
Like my momma. (Sorry momma)
Like my wife.
Why would I want
a effin nigga running things
Sure he’d legalize pot,
But that don't mean shit.
I’ve lived with white women most of my life, except for college (when I could have used one or two), and the time I lived in a ½ bedroom shitbox in Oakland, and let me tell you I have had an okay life, really.
So, America let’s live with Hillary for four years and you could do okay."
He sent this missive with a cell phone snapped photo of himself voting for Hillary. With a big grin on his face, ballot propped beside it with black-pen-filled-in-arrow clearly visible. I was proud. My black husband voted for the white lady. I voted for her too, despite Northern California's obsession with Obama's message of ill-defined CHANGE. We like white women in my house. They get shit done.